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HAPPY THANKSGIVING!

WIHTH #6 (Brace yourself for a downer)

WIHTH #6: This time of year has me drowning in sad memories.

This time last year:

First there was this pathetic glimmer of hope.

Then crushing disappointment and buckets of self pity. (not my finest moment in blogging)

Then to top things off, a week later, the powers that be kicked me while I was down and took away even more. (so forgive me god, God, Allah, Buddah . . . if “this little light of mine” don’t shine so bright right now.)

And then there is non-IF holiday pain:

Less than a week before Christmas about* 1 decade ago my husbands mother died much too young, unexpectedly and tragically

On the very day of Dec. 25, almost* 2 decades ago my Opa, my closest grandparent, died.

So it’s not all about picture perfect lit Christmas trees and stockings hung with care. It’s about loving those around you and grieving those who aren’t. Both those who actually lived and died and those who simply never came to be.

This WIHTH is not uproariously funny and if you came here for my usual sarcastic wit, I appologize. But this is the real WIHTH. I know I am too consumed with the losses right now to focus on the blessings. The blessings do exist. I’m just not sure how Thankful I can be one week from today. Maybe it’s enough to just be present and save the thanks for next year.

*I know each of these dates, and even the hours, by heart. I am choosing to be vague here for my own sake.

WIHTH #5 (aka Mel made me do it!)

This was Mel’s idea and it made me laugh. So I wanted to share it with you. Mel pointed out that as a Jew she doesn’t feel the same pressure of the whole holiday thing and maybe I could convert, even if just until the New Year. Or maybe have this T-shirt made up.

Then the following conversation happened I I thought hey . . . maybe I should convert!

Our neighbor who is an adoptive Mom from the closed adoption era, recently asked how our adoption was “going.” (funny question if you think about it.) Anyway, just to have something to say I told her about the social worker’s feedback about our profile and video and about how we “almost” got picked (if only we had been Catholic) a while back. Well, our neighbor IS Catholic as it happens, so of course she was all over this. She could sign me up for classes she said and I could convert. Or C. could convert, and I should become Jewish, because those are the two religions that “don’t abort unwanted pregnancies” don’t ya know? If we each converted we’d have all our bases covered.

Great idea. Let’s start a new trend in adoption fraud . . . pretending to be Catholic/Jewish PAP’s to gain first families’ favor!

But back to the t-shirt . . . It is in the spirit of WIHTH, that I am considering conversion to Judaism. (Not to perpetrate adoption fraud on some unsuspecting first family!)

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Disclaimer:

I wish in no way to offend anyone. I have nothing against any religion, or any holiday. I really do love Christmas in many ways, what I hate is the commercial ruin of it all. The false frenzy of buying in the name of generosity, the pressure people feel to go into debt to keep up and all that stuff that has nothing to do with God, or Love or Family. It’s really been warped into a marketing ploy.

I also hate that people forget those who need love most of all at the holidays: the childless, those who’ve lost a loved one, older people in nursing homes, the forgotten. If Christmas was really about Love and Generosity it would look a lot different than it does these days. I imagine God looking at us all running around with Santas and Snowmen, as we ignore the homeless on the streets, and shaking His/Her head in dismay.

OK, enough of that. Mainly, I hope that I spread a few laughs in writing WIHTH, a few knowing nods about what bugs you too . . . no harm meant to those with strong religious views.

Damn, my disclaimer is longer than my post! Well, I had to get that off my chest. I don’t want to go to hell. I feel as I have already been there and it’s not very nice.

WIHTH Reason #4

Why I Hate the Holidays:
Reason #4:

These festively depressing reminders of what the holidays SHOULD include arrive in the mail almost daily

WIHTH

WIHTH = Why I Hate The Holidays* (lately)**

Reason#1 The Holidays are all about kids. I don’t have kids (yet).

Reason#2 The Christian Holiday AKA Christmas celebrates the BIRTH of a BABY to a VIRGIN no less (!!!) And I am kind of mad at G-O-D anyway.

Reason#3 Holiday merchandise (greeting cards, decorations, etc.) is finding its way into stores well before Halloween. This is ridiculous and uses up what little festive cheer I might manage to summon up well before we even reach Thanksgiving. When you’re this short on holiday cheer, you need to save it for when it counts. Being bombarded by the commercial merchandising blitz does NOT help.

*This may become an ongoing series
**I used to enjoy the holidays as much as the next person and hope to again some day soon

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