7dp5dt . . . Damn!

Well, now it’s starting to look bad. Really bad. Still only one line and I can’t really tell myself that it’s too early any more. Can I?

FRER HPT detects HCG levels of 25. So in order for this to be a false negative I would have to have a beta HCG of less than 50 on Friday. That is unlikely and also would not be a great beta, would it? Five day blasts implant within 48 hours according to everything I’ve read. So there should be HCG floating around by now.

The only thing I can dig up to summon a little bit of hope is that with trying to stay super hydrated, maybe even my FMU is pretty diluted. (Dream on, I know . . . ) Also if my blast was half a day behind at transfer, then maybe everything else is too. But that’s not exactly “good”. Oh what the hell, I may as well get used to the idea sooner than later that this didn’t work either and now I am out of ideas as to how to achieve a pregnancy before I am older than the hills themselves.

I think we will try again. It’s just that from reading blogs and reading boards, most people seem to have success on the first try. It’s kind of like if it’s gonna work, it works right away. I know there are all kinds of stories, etc. But I am not Brooke Shields, I do not have a billion bucks saved up to do this 5, 6, etc. times, especially not since we don’t have FET to fall back on. I’m also turning 38 in May. I will be 38 before I can cycle again. That double sucks!

Damn.

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16 Responses to “7dp5dt . . . Damn!”

  1. Lindy Says:

    Well, damn, Beagle. I’m so sorry you’re going through this. But 5dp7dt truly is still early. All that stuff about 5 day blasts implanting within 48 hours is just based on the idea that implantation “normally” occurs at 7 days past ovulation. We all know that it can actually be later than that and there’s nothing about IVF that makes implantation more exact. In fact, a woman who was cycling at the same time I was transferred three embryos, got negatives on sensitive hpts every day (she tested until 13dpo, but not on her beta day) and then had a positive beta. Initially she was pregnant with twins! And now she’s safely out of the first trimester with one of them. Suz from Within the Woods tested negative at 12dpo and then stopped testing (I think I’m remembering this right) and is going to be giving birth to twins next week. Also, your calculations that even if you were to have a positive beta on Friday it would be low aren’t exactly right. hCG can rise rapidly in the first few days that it’s present in your system. I can think of a couple of women who had very, very low initial betas (taken before 14dpo) and then had perfectly respectable repeat betas at 14 or 15 dpo.

    You are not out of this game.

    Really, you’re not.

    I can completely understand the need to start thinking about the next step though. I did it every time because it helped me feel more prepared to deal with the outcome. I know you will find a way to do this again if you need to and it’s fine to focus on that. And plenty of women get pregnant on their second completed IVF too (off the top of my head, I think of Deadbug, Claudia at Bad Egg, Suz…)

    But you are still not out of this game.

    Thinking of you!

  2. Leggy Says:

    What Lindy said.

    Try to keep faith- its still early. Also, are all the tests from the same box? Maybe its a bad batch.

    But really, it ain’t over (or truly started) until the beta comes in. Keep hanging on until the blood tests come in and then take it from there.

  3. EJW Says:

    Hang in there, it’s not over until it’s over. All these people pulling for you in the computer has to count for something, right?

    Good luck!

  4. LB Says:

    Beagle-
    Sorry you are going through this. It is truly a sucky time. You want to be pessimistic to spare potential crushing feelings later, but it IS still early. And beta levels do not rise step-wise. It’s exponential. If it makes you feel better, I was admitted with OHSS the day before my beta was due to be drawn, and they did a beta level in the hospital and it was only 42. I expressed my concerns to my RE that it was a low number, and her response was “well, every pregnancy has to start somewhere”. It’s not an exact science. I’m not telling you to get your hopes up, but keep that chin up. You will find a way to make this work out in the end, then you can look back on all of this frustration as a bad memory. I’m glad you are thinking about the next step and NOT GIVING UP if this doesn’t work. PLEASE stick with it. We are all here for you.

  5. Claudia Says:

    Hang in there, Beagle, it’s not over yet. It is still very early. I totally understand wanting to prepare yourself for bad news, but please don’t give up every last little bit of hope just yet.

    And if the news is bad, well, you’re not alone. Like Lindy says, plenty of us didn’t get pregnant on our first IVF.

    Keep us posted!

  6. N Says:

    Hang in there and give it a bit more time. It might not be over yet, and if it will be, you will continue on your quest of a baby! I cross all my fingers though that it will indeed work out this time!!!

    Good luck!

  7. Kellie Says:

    I’m sorry this is happening. This is the danger of pee-sticks. There are many out there who had negative pee sticks yet come up with postitive betas. You can still be one of them.

    I’ve got my fingers crossed for you.

  8. PortLairge Says:

    Are you using the same brand of FRED each time? I got a negative on FRED until the day of my beta. The R*te Aid brand gave me a positive a couple of days before that.

  9. Beagle Says:

    Thanks for all your support. I wish I wasn’t such a POAS-aholic.

    I am using the First Response brand, the ‘early detection’ kind. I don’t think I want to feed my insanity by buying another brand (OK, so I don’t have Rite Aid nearby or I might be in the car now instead of responding!).

    I may or may not test tomorrow. I’ve taken Friday off. I hate to cry at work. I’ve made fun plans for Friday, with a friend I can trust. Art museum and lunch. She will help me get through until C. can take over on the weekend. I will be OK. One way or another.

    I still hope I get a happy suprise.

  10. Donna Says:

    Thanks for your comment on my blog…I’m sorry to find you at such a trying time. It ain’t over til it’s over, but your idea of a fun day on Friday sounds like a great idea. I’m linking you so I can keep tabs on you.

  11. Lori Says:

    I’m so sorry you are going through this. It’s not over yet and I’m going to be crossing everything I can that you have a nice positive beta on Friday. Hang in there.

  12. daysgoby Says:

    Beagle –

    Thinking of you.

  13. thalia Says:

    Beagle don’t kid yourself, it’s not that ‘most people get success first time’. The stats speak the truth – it works about 30% of the time on any one cycle, whether it is your first, second, or tenth. So although I know it’s really hard not to be down right now – I would be – you are not right in your assumption that it would have worked this time if it was going to.

    Also, as lindy says, you are not out yet. Don’t lose hope – for this or for a later cycle.

  14. Winnifred Says:

    AAARHHHH.

    I’m not a POAS-aholic… but I know that if I was i’d be going through the same emotions you are – which is why i’m promising myself to NOT POAS until the day of my BETA…

    It’s not over yet… HUGS – and positive thoughts… positive thoughts… positive thoughts… positive thoughts… positive thoughts… positive thoughts… positive thoughts…

    🙂

  15. Fertility Faux Pas Says:

    Beagle, I’m sorry this is such a difficult time right now. I’m still holding out hope for you, since 7 days past your transfer still seems very early to me. In the mean time, try and keep yourself busy and enjoy your day at the museum with your friend. Know that I’m thinking of you and hoping for some good news to come your way soon.

  16. Lindy Says:

    Thinking of you today and hoping for the best possible suprise tomorrow. Glad to hear you have nice plans for Friday either way.

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