My consolation prize

Where to start?

I’ll relay some good news first, just for a change. We have 9 out of 8 eggs fertilized. No, that is not a typo. They retrieved 15 eggs, but yesterday they told me that only 8 eggs were mature enough to ICSI. Apparently one funky immature one got a shot at ICSI too and they ALL fertilized. So there’s a lucky break! I should be more excited, but I am still too distressed about the rest of the stuff to be happy about anything. Ask me again tomorrow.

The bloody bladder saga:

I still have a catheter. A new one in fact. A bigger one. Let me just say that while there are certainly more painful things in life, like, say childbirth . . . having a catheter put in while fully conscious is no picnic. It hurt going in and coming out and it feels really creepy and distressing while it’s in.

I get to keep it one more day. There are clots coming out now (hence the larger catheter to allow them to pass, sorry TMI). This is actually progress (after all, I don’t want those clots in my bladder) but it is also pretty disgusting. Tomorrow morning I am taking the catheter out myself (one slim advantage of being an RN, but it does save me one more trip to the RE) and then I will hope and pray I can pee . . . or else . . . you guessed it . . . I buy myself another catheter insertion and most likely a trip to a urologist. It will be a miracle if I don’t end up with an infection. I am on drugs for that, but no good pain meds, sorry to report.

I am trying really hard not to have ill feelings towards my RE. I don’t buy the “It’s routine to go through the bladder to get to the ovaries” explanation. I am pretty sure it is not. OK, I am 100% sure it is not. But I am being very cordial because I am not going to piss off the man in charge of my embryos. If this fails again, I am getting a second opinion for sure. On the one hand I know from my own ten years in the OR, that shit happens. It just does. Doctors are human too. And, to his credit he has been VERY attentive. Calling to check on me, meeting me in the office rather than sending me to the OR, etc. He’s been very kind, apologetic and keeps telling me what a great patient I am (I wonder, do most people scream when you insert a catheter?) I am pretty stoic about pain, it’s not so much that I am being nice as that gritting my teeth is the way I cope. (Then I come here and bitch about it!)

So, while I understand that all of this is understandable, I am also asking myself (rather repeatedly) WHY ME??? But then that’s like wishing it on someone else and no other IF patient deserves this either.

Funny how I was so worried about my cold/allergies! That still sucks too, but now I have bigger worries.

So, by tomorrow I should be happier . . . and maybe I’ll even give a little cheer for my 8/9 embryos (I’m still not really counting the funky one).

In the meantime, I am watching bad TV, emptying a bloody urine bag constantly, blogging intermittently, and drinking as much liquid as I can stand. I may even throw a little alcohol in to the drinking regime. The embryos are safe in the lab, it’s not like I’ll get them drunk now.

Thanks SO MUCH for all your support. It’s just so nice to have you all stop by and agree that this sucks. I am so grateful!

13 Responses to “My consolation prize”

  1. soralis Says:

    That’s great about your fertilization!! Hope all works out well when the catheter is out! (Gross I had one for 12 days last summer.. I don’t envy you)

    Take care

  2. UtRus Says:

    wow! bonus embie! that is cool šŸ™‚

    i highly, highly doubt that it’s “routine” to “go through the bladder” during retrieval. (like you said. after all,m you are a RN) a little distressing that someone would even say that to you. did the doc say it? better to just tell the truth, no? like you said, MDs are human, too… mistakes in med care suck, but it sure sounds like he’s being a gem now. which is good.

    I hope you’re feeling better soon. if they have a trader joe’s near you, send your man to get some “unfiltered cranberry juice” – it’s been great for my UT and bladder šŸ™‚

  3. Leggy Says:

    Wonderful news about fertilization- at least something is going right. Glad bladder is getting better and not worse. Does it look like transfer is still on or will they need to freeze because of this bladder business? I hope not.

  4. sube Says:

    Sounds like there’s been some progress, even if it’s slow progress. Hope things continue to improve. And great news on the fertilization front. It’s like buy 8 embryos, get the 9th one free.

  5. Hopeful Mother Says:

    I’ve been reading your blog for a while, and just caught up on your egg retrieval saga.

    I’m so sorry that you are having to go through all of this other crap. That sucks. I hope things are better soon and that catheter is gone as soon as possible.

    Great news on the fertilization. I’ll be thinking of you – take care.

  6. Pamplemousse Says:

    Fab fertilisation! At least something is going right, eh? Feel better soon, complete with non-bloody urine.

  7. N Says:

    I bloody super sucks! I totally agree!!! over and over and over….

    But then you got this wonderful fertilization report….yeeha!!! That’s great news and keep in mind how good you will be feeling in about 15 years when your teenager annoys you and you can tell the bloody bladder saga…over and over again!

    Thinking a lot about you and hope that this will have been all worth while it!!!


  8. Lindy Says:

    Fantastic fert report!!! You so deserve it too after all you’re going through. This just HAS to work now, right? Because this is bloody ridiculous.

    Thinking of you and wishing you a speedy recovery.

  9. Chee Chee Says:

    I am happy that you got such good fertilization news!

    I hope this bladder thing get resolved soon. Could this delay embryo transfer?

  10. MoMo Says:

    I am really happy about the good fertilization report! That is fantastic.

    Sorry that the bladder issue is still lurking. I hope you are feeling better and no more catheter!

    I know you said I should stop reading your blog bec. you don’t want to scare me…sorry you can’t get rid of me!

    Take care of yourself..Hugs!

  11. Sarah Says:

    Great news about 8/9 numbers!! That is fantastic. This bloddy bladder business is horrible and I’m so sorry that you have to go through it. Hopefully by tomorrow this will all be history. Good luck!

  12. Mary Ellen and Steve Says:

    Congrats on a great fertilization report!

  13. Just another Jenny Says:

    100% fert! Amazing! That is great news. The big cathetar is awful and I say “why you” too – nobody deserves to go through that! I agree about just getting through it and a second opinion next time, that’s a good idea.

    I read ahead – I’m glad it’s out! Awful!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: