Archive for June, 2006

Lounging on the Couch Pneumonia

June 27, 2006

That is my revised (self assigned) diagnosis. I am lounging around today looking at this dreary endless rain. I have rented Grey’s Anatomy (Season One) on DVD and The Pilot’s Wife. I have watched the latter, and as expected, it was sad.

AF showed her unwelcome face last night. I am never glad to see her, but it is a good thing I guess. Out with the old, in with the new and all that. I want my little frosties to have a nice fresh and welcoming nest to settle into! Also this eliminates my worry that she, will arrive later and spoil all the plans.

The cough thing is still pretty miserable, but I have put my faith in modern antibiotics. I should feel much better in another day or so.

This morning I had my first estradio*l valerate injection: 2mg, 0.1ml, I.M., hardly worth poking a hole in the buttocks for that tiny amount of medication. Why can I not have the patch like some of you gals get? Will have to quiz Dr. Funnypants about that later. The good news on the EV inj. is that you only do it 2x per week. Lupro*n continues daily at half the dose.

So, nothing happening here in Beagle’s world. Just having a big old DVD snuggle fest with the kitties, all four of them (we need a bigger couch!) Family size tissue box and giant mug of tea in hand. Ahhhhhh.

Thanks for all the sympathetic comments. You can never get too much sympathy!

Walking Pneumonia

June 26, 2006

Yup. Pneumonia. Lot’s of junk in the right lung, the left side not so bad. I always think of pneumonia as an old folks’ illness. I guess “walking pneumonia” is kind of the young and active set’s version. Still, god, this is depressing.

It really sounds worse than it is, but when you feel like crap, it’s all bad.

Good news: Doc thinks we caught it very early. So, 7 days of Zithro*max, some rest and lots of fluids ought to do the trick. Stay tuned.

Why can life never be “easy”??

It’s snot so bad

June 26, 2006

No, it’s not. It’s WORSE.

I am so sick. How can I be so unlucky for someone who believes in luck?? I am (warning gross details ahead) coughing up disgusting amounts of green nastiness. My entire body aches and my ribs and throat ache/burn from all the coughing. I haven’t had a real night’s sleep in three days. I am not a happy girl. Normally I can cope pretty well with this sort of thing, but it really, really, feels like this is one thing too many to handle while cycling.

You can imagine how thrilled I was to visit my friendly RE this morning for my baseline ultrasound. All is well below the belt at least. Oh yes, except that there has been no appearance of AF, not even a spot. The RE assures me that this is fine so long as:
a) my E2 is fine and
b) I don’t start bleeding later (as in closer to time of actual transfer).
Great. Something else to add to my list of potential doom and worry. The RE is not at all worried about the chest business as long as I get treated ASAP. (Sure, the RE is not the one coughing up a lung!) Transfer is 22 days off which “should” be plenty of time to cure my respiratory woes.

So, I am leaving work early today (after having arrived late from RE visit) to see my GP/family doc. No doubt he will give me the antibiotic du jour to resolve this lung thing. I like my GP, but I kind of get irritated that an RE can’t just listen to my lungs, take a swab perhaps and write a prescription. They did all go to medical school before specializing, right?? But, no, they like to share the wealth and add another appointment to my rather full appointment book.

Sigh.

I am tired, so tired. I don’t even want to do this FET. What’s the point** I keep asking myself?

Can we say sad Beagle? And what the hell am I doing at work today anyway? Why do I always have to pretend that I am stronger than I really am until I push so hard that I fall apart?

**For what it’s worth, my RE “claims” that some of his patients never get BFP’s in fresh cycles but then get pg on a frozen cycle. It “may” be coincidence, but he has a “theory” that it may be due to the fact that even though the embryos are compromised to some degree by the freeze/thaw, the woman’s uterus/body is more hospitable during a frozen cycle because the hormones levels are more controlled and closer to “natural” levels.

Let’s hope that I add to his belief in this “theory” by having a miracle BFP on July 27th! I am truly running out of the “will to persevere” here. I want a baby as much as I ever have, but the pain of trying is starting to equal the pain of not having that which I am trying for. What’s a girl to do? When is it time to say enough is enough?

Maybe I’m just having an extra bad day.

Thanks for reading my self-pitying rant.
Happier post ahead (maybe).

You are cordially invited to a whine sampling.

June 22, 2006

I’m not even home a week and I am already in need of another vacation! Whine, whine, whine!

I know there is no scientific evidence to support this, but I am 100% convinced that Lupro*n gives me sinus infections. I am sick again, just in time for a cycle. I am so mad! Why, oh why? Does God / do the gods hate me or what? I am absolutely miserable, my entire head aches something fierce. This started exactly 3 hours after seeing Dr. Funnypants to sign my FET consents on Tuesday afternoon. I kid you not. I had a burning throat by evening and thought: “Oh, no, here we go again.” Yesterday it gradually got worse until by evening I was ready to cry (but that would irritate my sinuses more)! So, here I sit, sipping tea, swallowing Tylenol and hoping this clears up before I lose my Lupro*on impaired mind!

There, I am done whining.

FET update:
Lupro*n shots are going well, I only have one nasty bruise. I took my last BCP last night, now we wait for AF. My first B/W and U/S appointment is Monday to make sue I am cyst free then we start esto*gen injections (butt shots I am sorry to say) twice weekly (Tuesday and Friday). FET is still on for July 18, knock on wood, unless my lining won’t cooperate. We hope both our frosties survive the thaw if so, we will transfer two. Then we have a 9 day wait (in lieu of the 2ww) because these are 5 day blasts. Beta on July 27th.

With any luck at all this will give us a spring time baby. Please, oh, please, OH PLEASE!

Is it Friday Yet?

June 20, 2006

What a day! I think I just had the worst day ever at this particular job post. The entire crew (all other two of them) are away at a trade show so I am holding down the fort alone. This is normally quite nice, but today the fort fell down. All’s well now, but let me just say, I hate Fed*Ex. We gave them over $600 in shipping business today and in return they gave us $0 in customer service. No one knew which end was up. I spent over two hours trying to send two shipments. It was surreal. No a single one of the customer service reps knew how to handle the international paperwork for items having a value over $2,500 and they insisted that I call the 1-800 # to figure it out. What the f*ck?? Aren’t I the customer and aren’t you supposed to help me??? I was livid . . . then I called the 1-800# and they transferred me all over the place and still no one had answers. They advised me to get the info online. Now I don’t know about you, but I don’t carry my laptop along to ship a damn package!

I would have simply gone over to BROWN, but this was a customer request to ship on their Fed*Ex account.

Anyway, not to bore you, but this is why there was no post today. The shipping fiasco was just the cherry on my S(M)undae. The rest of the day had worked itself up to this level of ridiculousness.

A better post tomorrow! (I promise!) (I hope I can keep that promise!)

In the meantime

June 18, 2006

Here we go again . . .

Well, I am just posting a “quickie” to say we are home and we had a wonderful time (minus one panic attack). More details in a Monday post.

Today was Lupron shot #1 for me, so we are back to the old grind again. (Trigger of aforementioned panic attack.) FET #1 is underway. How did that sneak up so fast?

I was very much saddened to learn, upon my return, that the first two bloggers*** I checked on had such bad news. Thalia and Pamplemousse were my two closest (in dates) cycle sisters and both had “successes” that just ended in heartbreak. I am so very sorry that it’s not happier times across the Atlantic. My heart goes out to you both.

So, I’m not much in the mood to write a happy vacation-y post tonight. Monday I am all alone at the office (freedom to blog!) So, I promise a fun and detailed post about my recent adventures then: all of which will NOT be infertility related! (Though, I won’t promise not to sneak in a whine or two about the infertiles’ plight.)

Happy Father’s Day to those who’ve made it there . . . happier days ahead to those who are still trying.

edited to add:

*** Make that three . . . I am crushed to see that Sube got heartbreaking news as well. Please stop by to lend her your support.