What would you do?

I am so upset, sad, discouraged . . . shit. The lining is still only 7mm. Yes, not one bit of growth in a week despite 2 dose increases for the estorgne injection. Ughhhhhhhhhhh! I am waiting for the E2 result and a call from the doctor. (which probably won’t come until 3pm or so.) I asked the nurse to have him call because I am considering bagging this cycle and waiting until September (the next time slot available) to try again.

On the one hand I hate to start from scratch, waste money, lose time, endure another wait, etc.

On the other hand I want this cycle to be as good as it can be because these two frozen embryos are our last chance at a mutual bio child. (Next up: either donor gametes or adoption.) These frosties feel so precious to me and I am scared to death of “wasting” them.

I doubt that the pneumonia had a direct effect on my uterine lining, but I am just so run down overall at the moment. I am still really tired, and while I feel much better I don’t feel quite myself either.

I know that no one can decide this for me, but this is really a tough one. DH is reluctant to sway me either way. He says it’s really up to me because starting over will affect me most directly. He supports whatever I decide.

What would you do??

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10 Responses to “What would you do?”

  1. MoMo Says:

    Oh Beagle–I am so sorry. This is a really hard decision to make. Did your doctor suggest anything? I don’t know what I would do–a part of me would want it now, because as we all know the waiting is so hard, but then the other part of me would want it perfect too if this was our last chance. I am sorry I am not much help, but I am thinking about you hon. Take care,

  2. DD Says:

    Shit, Beagle. Right now your heart is duking it out with your head: the heart wants the waiting to be over; and the head wants the conditions to be perfect.

    If I was in the same position, I would go for it. But I’m not. Instead I don’t have the emotional investment in this that you do, that’s why I would advise you to wait.

    I know when you found out that you’d have to wait until July, it seemed like a long time. But now those weeks seemed to have flown by, haven’t they?

  3. Lindy Says:

    Oh, Beagle. I’m just so angry for you. This is just so unfair and ridiculous.

    You’re right that no one can make this decision for you, but if it helps, I think if I were in your position and these were my last two embryos, I’d wait if the doctor gives any indication that it isn’t a good idea to go forward.

    Is there an option of waiting a few more days to see if the lining improves or is it now or never?

    I’m just so sorry and angry.

  4. EJW Says:

    Sucky. Just sucky. What is your lining thinking? Doesn’t it know its proper role in life?

    As someone else asked, is there any way to wait and give it a few more days to thicken? How bad is 7mm? I know it’s the lower end of the scale, but is it totally undoable or just less than ideal? Maybe your E2 levels will shed a little light on your options.

    Given the precious nature of the frosties, and the fact that you’re so worn out from the pneumonia, I’d lean towards waiting.

    I hope your doctor has lots of information and advice for you. Good luck, whichever you choose.

  5. Cathy Says:

    I’m a lurker, but I thought I would post a hopeful (and possibly helpful) comment.

    If you can wait to see if your lining improves once you are feeling better, that’s what I would do. I had a similar situation–my son was sick with whooping cough and I had a nasty cold as well during my last cycle. I wasn’t sleeping and was really run down. When I went in for my midcycle ultrasound (after clo*mid and Gon*al-F) the ultrasound tech asked what cd I was on–she thought it was a baseline ultrasound she was doing as there was NO action in my girlie parts. Very thin lining and only little tiny follicles. Well we gave it some time and once I started sleeping again things improved. My next ultrasound revealed a nice cushy lining and 1 good follicle. That ended up being a great cycle–I’m very glad it didn’t get canceled.

    I wish you the best of luck!

  6. mm Says:

    Ugh! So sorry. Not sure what the lining needs to be to be considered optimal, but if you really don’t think yours is going to get there, I’d cancel. Too much at stake to waste on a shitty cycle, esp if this really were the last one before I moved on to a donor. Let us know what your doctor says.

  7. Leggy Says:

    I think I’m going to say something similar to DD. If you want my advice, it would be to wait. Why? Because if the cycle fails, you don’t want to beat yourself up about “what if I’d waited?”

    But if it was me and I had to make the choice, it would be agonizing to wait, and I may want to just get it over with and let the chips fall where they may. That’s kind of how I feel right now and why I’m frustrated about having to do a mock cycle right now.

    Its an agonizing choice. Good luck thinking it through.

  8. Hopeful Mother Says:

    Beagle, I’m sorry you don’t have better news.

    Since this is your last FET attempt, I think I would wait until the circumstances are as close to perfect as they’re going to be. Talk to you doctor to see what he suggests – if your chances are significantly lower because of the lining measurements, I would wait and go later, hoping for an improvement next time.

    I hope you can come to a decision without too much angst – so sorry for you and hubbie.

  9. Ornery Says:

    Oh, Beagle, I’m so sorry that your lining refuses to cooperate. Like Lindy, I’m just so angry at the unfairness of it all.

    This is such a difficult decision, and I honestly don’t know what to suggest. I just want you to know that I’m thinking of you and completely support you regardless of what decision you make.

  10. Kristi Says:

    This just sucks. The waiting is horrendous, but it is the summer, and it’s been my experience that the time goes by much more quickly now than it does in winter. And September is only a month and a half away. You can probably see where I’m going with this…

    I agree with the others. I’d wait. Can you ask your doctor what your chances are for an improved lining in the next few days? Then go with his/her expert opinion.

    Thinking of you..

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