Déjà Vu*

Well, today’s ultrasound was more or less a repeat of yesterday. Maybe a little growth on the smaller follies, but as has happened in a few previous cycles, I have one lead follie and a bunch of stragglers. The pending E2 result and my ever-wise Dr. Leaving-town will determine whether we trigger tonight or try to grow these stragglers for one more day. I don’t much care either way, I have sort of given up on this cycle (as a self protective anti-hope device I suppose).

Did I ever mention that my ultrasound tech uses WAY TOO MUCH BLUE GOO? Well, it’s still true. Man I hate that.

I’d prefer to trigger tonight and do the IUI Thursday because Friday’s are hard for C. to take off and I’d like him to be there for the IUI. It’s the only way this high tech baby project feels like it has anything to do with being a couple if we can at least share that.

But, I will live with whatever happens. Infertility has taught me that. I can tolerate much more than I ever imagined I could. I don’t like to, but I can.

Will post an update this afternoon. This is the post about nothing that I just felt compelled to write.

*The term déjà vu is French and means, literally, “already seen.” Those who have experienced the feeling describe it as an overwhelming sense of familiarity with something that shouldn’t be familiar at all.


5 Responses to “Déjà Vu*”

  1. Sarah Says:

    Good luck with the trigger and the IUI! I’ll be thinking of you this weekend.

  2. mm Says:

    My fingers are crossed for you!! And, um, not to be dense… but does your clinic use an abdominal us (instead of the dildo cam)? My clinic doesn’t use any goo… (that I know of) just a trojan. I hate the goo… gets all over your clothes!!

  3. Beagle Says:

    mm . . . oh they use a dildocam alright . . . AND blue goo . . . inside the condom and outside the condom. I kid you not, she uses what must amount to a quarter cup of goo and you can imagine where that all ends up.

    Really pretty gross.

  4. sube Says:

    A familiarity with something that shouldn’t be familiar at all. A pretty apropos way to describe this whole stupid IF thing. Hang in there.

  5. soralis Says:

    Good luck.

    The goo is so yucky, I hate that stuff!

    Take care

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