Monday, Monday

I have a friend that is big into the “12 step” thing. One of her favorite quips is “fake it ’til you make it.” It’s not a bad strategy. The idea is to force a smile on until you notice it’s no longer fake. The other quotable quote I recently heard was this: Even your darkest hour only lasts 60 minutes. Kind of simplistic. A bit unrealistic too. When you string a whole bunch of dark hours together (they kind of add up quickly!) But, all cynicism aside, it’s not a bad way to get through a rough time.

This morning I had a 7:15 Appointment. Well, in reality I had a 7:30 appointment but I thought it was 7:15. At that hour, 15 minutes makes a difference. It’s not that 7:15 is that early it’s that the time I need to get up to be ready, showered coifed, dressed and at my RE’s office for 7:15/7:30 is too early. Anyway . . . I got there before the doors were even open. This had me momentarily dazed and confused. I checked my appointment card and lo and behold, I was too early. By the time they unlocked the doors (exactly 7:30 on the dot), there were three of us waiting in the corridor. One lucky male specimen provider and two groggy women. The funny part was how chatty everyone was. I’ve never spoken to or been spoken to by another infertility patient in my entire three years there. How odd. Normally, we all kind of stare at our shoes and pretend we’re not there. Today everyone had something to say. We compared blood draw bruises and horror stories. We griped about the early hour. Real camaraderie. I kind of liked it. The other woman had a bruise to beat mine and a four attempts to my three from last weeks “float pool” blood draw nurse. Good to know it’s not just me. She was apparently a newbie and I assured her it’s not that bad when the regular nurses are on duty. She smiled gratefully.

So my ultrasound went well. Tech E. lost half of her ultrasound gel on the sheet before getting it to my . . . well . . . netherparts . . . and lucky me she did not reapply. So, I got off easy today in the dreaded blue goo department. My U/S was normal for a ‘three days of drugs’ check. Follies perking up but not ready for measuring yet. My weird disintegrating leftover follicle is still 17mm. Unchanged is good in this case. I am awaiting my E2 and my dosing instructions.

(Edited to add: The E2 not doing much yet either at 58 so the Fo*llistim dose has been increased from 125 to 200. Next check on Wednesday.)

So far so good.

This weekend was still a bit rough, but better than last. Yesterday was almost good. C. and I took our little sailboat out to a nearby lake and I sailed most of the time while C. coached me. I can sail just fine, I just don’t care as much as he does about catching the most optimal bit of wind. Sailing is not about getting there fast unless you are racing. It was nice.

Today I am ordering a bicycle. I have not bought a bike (or ridden one much) in about 15 years. I have this desire to do it now. I am not sure why, but it feels like a good idea. Maybe my legs will get a bit of their former shape back. In any case, it will be a nice distraction.

Happy Monday everyone . . .

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10 Responses to “Monday, Monday”

  1. DD Says:

    It always makes me wonder why we on the internet are constantly “talking” to each other about our treatments, even though we have never met; but when we get into the clinic we act as if we’re recluses and avoid the other women. It gives me incentive that next time I am there, I will make eye contact and say good morning to at least one woman.

  2. soralis Says:

    I am with DD… why is it we don’t talk in the clinics?

    Good luck and take care

  3. Lucy Says:

    Did the fella say much? I always giggle about the guys who are headed to the spank bank because they tend to be soooo quiet and self conscious. (With good reason, too. I always told my husband, “I don’t think I could do *that* on command in a strange place … you guys impress me.”)

    I noticed at my RE’s clinic that women not only usually give each other the silent treatment, they also give each other icy cold stares. One step beyond being “not chatty.” A shame, really, when we’re all in the same boat.

  4. LB Says:

    Funny. We just got a bike yesterday. The stationary kind, the kind you use in spinning class. It’s already getting cold here in NH and with all the snow we’ll get, it’s nice to be able to bike indoors. Use it in good health!

  5. Zarqa Says:

    I heard a new one just the other day: “Happiness is the method, not the outcome.” Eh.

    The only time fellow waiters speak at the RE’s office is when someone’s toddler is making the rounds saying hi to everyone and everyone, though clearly ripped up inside, must say the obligatory, “he’s so cute!” I try to smile whenever I can but then I get looks of “what is she so happy about..she must be pregnant.” After so many years at this, I just look forward to the day of never having to see that office again.

  6. Bea Says:

    Happy Monday.

    Glad to hear it all going well.

    Bea

  7. sube Says:

    Beagle, I’m just catching up and am wishing you the best with this cycle. Glad to hear things are starting off well. It seems that you offering the newbie at your clinic some reassurance and good will should earn you some nice karma points. Hope you get to redeem them soon.

  8. Kristi Says:

    This post made me laugh. You’re so right. No one talks to eachother in the clinic. At all. It’s like some unspoken rule.

    Glad to hear all is going well so far. Thinking of you, as always, and hoping that this cycle is the one.

  9. Just another Jenny Says:

    I hate the silence of the waiting room, I’ve always wanted to talk to the other people there. I am glad to hear that everything is going well so far.

  10. Sarah Says:

    It is strange how in person we don’t talk about things at all. Good luck with your cycle. Hope that the E2 numbers start to pick up with the increased foll.

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