I don’t wanna . . .

Get up in the morning when the bed is so warm
Go to work
Look in the mirror
Think about anything to do with infertility
Take any more drugs, of any kind
Do my studio tour in less than three weeks
Make pottery for any one but me
Do Christmas
Shop for Christmas
Visit family for Christmas
Oooh and Aaah over everyone else’s amazing kids at Christmas

I want to stay in my cave and not come out ’til spring or ’til I am pregnant with a viable passenger or two.

I just don’t wanna anymore.


19 Responses to “I don’t wanna . . .”

  1. Barely Sane Says:

    Big hugs to you. I hate when I’m those kind of funks – when it seems the world just doesn’t give a crap and it seems easier to just hide.
    Do what makes you feel good and forget about the other stuff. Sometimes ya just gotta do what’s right for YOU and say F it to the rest.

  2. soralis Says:

    If only we weren’t allowed to hide every now and again for long periods of time.

    Big hug

  3. DD Says:

    Is there room for two in your cave?

  4. Leggy Says:

    I’m sorry. I don’t wanna either. I just don’t wanna anymore…

  5. GLouise Says:

    I’m right there with you!

  6. Anonymous Says:

    sorry you’re in a funk….today i dreamed a similar dream…i just want to run away from home….hang in there, as you said, hope is always lurking…

  7. Lut C. Says:

    Exactly! Except for the pottery, that I don’t do.

  8. Starfish Says:

    Sounds like you need a bigger cave…I’m coming too.

  9. Carol Says:

    You have a cave too? I thought I was the only one.

  10. UtRus Says:

    i know the feeling. hugs. and may the mouth of your cave let in a lot of light just when you need it.

  11. Kristi Says:

    I’d hide with you if I could, just to make you feel better. I’m been where you are now, believe me. But fight these feelings, or else the IF wins, and you’re way too strong to let that happen.

  12. Sarah Says:

    It is hard to get through sucky days like that. I am sending over a big hug for you!!!

  13. annmarie Says:

    I understand. This is the first Christmas that I can sit through with a smile.

  14. Anonymous Says:

    Beagle… this time of year doesn’t make it any easier. (I’m running away, so I can’t pull any moral high ground here at all – even if I wanted to.) I hope you find something you “wanna” soon.


  15. chloe Says:

    Amen. I hear you.

    My motto these days – if I don’t want to, then I don’t!

    Feel better soon.

  16. StellaNova Says:

    Can I join you?

  17. Shop Girl Says:

    I’m with ya, sista. Although I am hopeful again since I’ve started a new cycle, I have many days where I feel like what you have described. Hope it helps that others know how you feel. Hang in there!

  18. Mary Ellen and Steve Says:

    I am so with you. I am dreading the holidays yet again this year. Hugs to you.

  19. Anonymous Says:

    Ugh, I loathe Christmas – our 4th since we were hoping to have our own.

    I’m dreading having to go into all the toy stores to buy presents for my nieces and nephews!

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