All I wanted was a sandwich

There I was yesterday, standing in line at my favorite deli, waiting for my pastrami on rye, hold the spicy mustard, when Zen left me yet again. A conversation, none too discreet, drifted in through my ears. The cashier and another employee where having an earnest discussion about how babies are the only good left in the world. So, why do people throw them in dumpsters? WTF? Is this casual lunch conversation for some people?? She went on and on about recent and ancient news stories and about how awful it all is (I agree) and how there is this law now, you know, the one that allows mothers to drop their babies off at firehalls, no questions asked, etc., . . . and on . . . and on.

All I wanted was a sandwich and some Zen on my lunch break.

I did not want to think about how people throw babies in dumpsters while women like us would give anything to have one. I did not say a thing. I plastered my fakest smile on, paid for my sandwich and left. But it haunted me. The world is so unfair at times.

I wonder, should we, the infertile, have T-shirts printed up. “I survived IVF but failed to get pregnant, please don’t torment me with dead or abused baby stories” or “I would give my right arm to be pregnant so please don’t tell me that you weren’t even trying while you rub your big round belly” or “Yes, we’ve had him “checked” too thanks for asking!” . . . there could be one hundred variations on this T-shirt. An endless variation on a theme for all the stories we have lived.

I have to say that life is crazy. It is just really crazy. It makes me wonder how many times I’ve said something that was overheard by some poor soul who was having a hard time with my topic du jour. How about all those teenage years spent crash dieting. Did I offend someone suffering from hunger?

In happier news. I saw two lines yesterday. No, not the kind I ultimately crave, but two lines all the same. I had an LH surge! How exciting. This means very little except that the metformin does appear to be shortening my cycle. My “normal” is 38 days. My RE’s ideal is 28 days. So if those two lines mean anything at all (on cd 19), then I am halfway to making my RE happy. At any rate I should have a period in 14 days give or take.

Then what?

I’ll get back to you on that one. (Please loving and supportive posse of infertiles, DO NOT encourage me to be hopeful about this cycle that isn’t really a cycle . . . I am crazy enough on my own. I would love to be the blogosphere’s next urban legend but lets only consider that if and when it happens).

In the mean time, lets play:

What would you have printed on your Infertility Awareness T-shirt?

Next week is National Infertility Awareness Week