The Hormone Hostage

A friend just sent me this e-mail. It’s PMS humor, but it rings so true for IF drugs as well. It was worth passing along for the laugh. I can’t format it into a chart like it’s meant to be becasue I am a computer dummy, but you’ll catch on. Each set of statements for men is divided into dangerous, safer, safest, and ultra safe.


The Hormone Hostage knows that there are days in the month when all a man has to do is open his mouth and he takes his life in his own hands! This is a handy guide that should be as common as a driver’s license in the wallet of every husband, boyfriend, co-worker or significant other!


What’s for dinner?
Can I help you with dinner?
Where would you like to go for dinner?
Here, have some wine.

Are you wearing that?
Wow, you sure look good in brown!
WOW! Look at you!
Here, have some wine

What are you so worked up about?
Could we be overreacting?
Here’s my paycheck.
Here, have some wine.

Should you be eating that?
You know, there are a lot of apples left.
Can I get you a piece of chocolate with that?
Here, have some wine.

What did you DO all day?
I hope you didn’t over-do it today.
I’ve always loved you in that robe!
Here, have some more wine.

13 Things PMS Stands For:

1 Pass My Shotgun

2 Psychotic Mood Shift

3 Perpetual Munching Spree

4 Puffy Mid-Section

5 People Make me Sick

6 Provide Me with Sweets

7 Pardon My Sobbing

8 Pimples May Surface

9 Pass My Sweatpants

10. Pissy Mood Syndrome

11. Plainly; Men Suck

12. Pack My Stuff

and my favorite one.

13. Potential Murder Suspect

Pass this on to all of your hormonal friends and those who might need a good laugh!

…Or men who need a warning.


7 Responses to “The Hormone Hostage”

  1. Starfish Says:

    OH my this was hilarious! And so TRUE!

  2. Kath Says:

    Touché! Many thanks for that laugh!

    I loved the vase. Beautiful!

  3. Millie Says:

    Loved this!!!

  4. Jaimie Says:

    I got this but instead of wine it said chocolate.

  5. MoMo Says:

    Oh this is too many…thanks for the laugh!

  6. Anonymous Says:

    That was great! I may have to share selectively with my husband, though – like when I’m not PMS’ing or having IF mood swings!

  7. shazz Says:

    I love it thankyou for a laugh, I needed it today.

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