Why the secrecy?

Why the private blog?

Well, this has been a long time coming for me. I’ve been uncomfortable, with this public forum for such a private subject, from the start. Now I find myself being more and more open here because all of you “regulars” feel like old friends, comrades in arms and all that. The thing is, it’s not just us reading here. A few of you have had bad experiences in that regard with your own medical team reading or your coworkers, etc. I also started noticing some odd google searches. Not evil or bad, just odd. For example, I went to Cape May for my holiday escape, well all someone needs to do is google that and they may find my infertility blog. Now most won’t stay to read, they want to go to the beach after all, not read my dreary posts! But some may and who knows who they are.

I hate to go private for two reasons. I will lose some of you, and I will not likely gain any new readers. And most of all I hate the implication that secret equals shameful in some way. Part of me wants infertility to be out there as an everyday topic because that’s the only way we’ll ever lose that stigma. But I guess I’m just not willing to be one of those pioneers!

I also feel that given the state of the world, if I end up adopting for example, do I want the birth Mom to be able to find and read this? Do I want my future child to be able to search this out one day? Most of my fears are unlikely scenarios but the paranoia, founded or not, limits what I feel I can say here. So my hope is that by making this a more private place to speak my mind, I will feel more free to do so.


14 Responses to “Why the secrecy?”

  1. Kath Says:

    Dear Beagle, that is so understandable. It’s very disturbing when you have the feeling/fear you’re beginning to lose your anonymity. It’s one thing to talk about infertility, but to have your private thoughts found out by someone you’d rather not share them with is different. I hope you will let me continue to read — I would hate to lose touch.

  2. Erin Says:

    I don’t comment much, but I do read. I’d love to follow your story, even after going private if you are comfortable with that.


  3. Erin Says:

    Like the other Erin, I don’t comment much but I’ll keep reading you after you go private if you’ll let me. I’m very interested to hear about your adoption plans!

  4. Margo Says:

    I completely understand. I’ve been there. I hope that you will let me continue reading as well. You were one of the first people on my blogroll when I started my first blog, and I would love to keep reading.

  5. serenity Says:

    Beagle – I’d follow you wherever. It’s totally understandable to want to keep your anonymity.

    I too would hate to lose touch, so when your new site is up, will you shoot me a comment with the new link? I’ll apply so that I can read it. 🙂

  6. GLouise Says:

    I’ll follow you wherever! Would love to stay posted on your next blog…thks!

  7. Lut Says:

    It’s not your job to educate the masses, besides you’ve done your bit already.

  8. Kristi Says:

    I understand exactly why you’re doing this, given what happened to Thalia. Please send me an invite to your new blog. I don’t want to lose touch with what’s going on with you.

  9. Millie Says:

    I totally understand your reasons for going private. I just want to be able to follow along, if that’s ok.

  10. Meg Says:

    Beagle – I’d love to come along too, if that would be ok. I have been reading via bloglines, though I don’t comment so much these days.

    It’s such an awful frightening feeling to feel you’re losing your anonymity.

  11. Bea Says:

    I guess at the end of the day you have to ask yourself why you’re blogging, and what’s the best way to protect that “way of blogging” IYKWIM. Sounds like pwp is it for you.


  12. soralis Says:

    You need to do whatever feels right for you. I would love to come visit at the new site if that is ok with you!

    Take care

  13. Barely Sane Says:

    I’m a bit late with my comment on this…. but your bit on a possible BM reading caught my eye. I find myself sensoring everything I type now “just in case” she reads it. While I dont have anything negative to say (at the moment), it would still be a shock to her. I mean, you guys get more updates & pics than she does!!

    But count me in. I want to follow if you go private.

  14. Lucy Says:

    I’d like to keep reading … I feel like I know you and I’d be sad to miss hearing about your life – infertility, pottery, cats and all.

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