Well, at least my teeth are in good shape

No one likes to go to the dentist. At best it’s uncomfortable, at worst it hurts like hell. But here’s a down side I didn’t prepare myself for:

I was due for routine x-rays. Dental hygienist asks whether I could be pregnant. Hmmm . . . After staring at her with a deer in the headlights glazed over look, I mumbled probably not. So she pressed for details and I told her that I’m in the middle of a medicated fertility cycle.

So, you know how the scenario goes at the dentist? That awkward thing were they insist on trying to hold a shallow conversation with you while having their fist halfway down your throat and wielding an air-driven instrument meant to polish your teeth but which sounds alarmingly like an instrument of torture? Well now imagine adding to that a shit load of assvice ranging from the well know “relax” to “have you tried giving up” (did you know that giving up leads to pregnancy?)

To try to squash the topic I told her we were indeed giving up on treatment and pursuing adoption. Silly me. Guess what she said next? You know it . . . she said “yes, that is a great idea”. No, not because adoption is a beautiful thing, but because that will guarantee I get pregnant! Why didn’t I think of that? Then she proceeded to tell me every story she’s ever heard about adoption. The lady who “got one” from her OB GYN (I think they did do this sort of thing in the 50’s and 60’s) to the people who got the girl from China who is so exotic and just gets prettier every year, to the people who got a son from Vietnam, but wait a minute, she doesn’t think Vietnam is “exporting” children anymore. Really? I thought it was quite a booming market, the export of children! Yikes!

Oh somebody just shoot me please. How much pain can one beagle endure?

I swear, I would cry but it’s all so ludicrous I almost have to laugh out loud.

This kind of ignorance just blows my mind. Two years ago this might have made me mad. Even now, on a bad day, it makes me mad. But mostly it just makes me wonder. Where the fuck do people get their information? Exporting children? Now I’ve heard it all.

Oh, but if anyone wants to know, I did not get the x-ray because hope and paranoia won out. After all, since I’ve about given up, my chances of being pregnant just went up. Oh, and I have no cavities. That’s something anyway.


15 Responses to “Well, at least my teeth are in good shape”

  1. Margo Says:

    Ugh. I am sorry Beagle. That hygenist obviously doesn’t know what she is talking about. I am sorry you had to go through that.

  2. Bea Says:



  3. Kris Says:

    Umm… and you didn’t bite her?! Wow. You are a much better person than I am- even in my drug induced happy place.

  4. My Reality Says:

    I think I would ‘accidentally’ bite her finger.

    Good news on no cavities – means less time hearing about exporting children.

  5. daysgoby Says:

    I’m sorry you had to go to the dentist.

    I’m sorry you had to listen to all that.

    But damn, woman, are you funny.

    So is that one week down?

  6. Lut C. Says:

    Well, what do you expect from someone with a college degree?


    Perhaps they get those ideas from those bad tv-movies we don’t watch any more. The ones that have XYZ’s story in the title.

  7. Kath Says:

    Good Lord, Beagle, that’s truly excruciating, especially when you’re literally a captive audience. I wish people weren’t so ignorant, or better, I wish they weren’t so very keen to share their ignorant thoughts with the world.

    You did very well, my dear.

  8. serenity Says:

    Good grief.

    One of my biggest pet peeves is when someone tells me when I tell them we’re considering adoption that it’s the surest way to get pregnant.

    Because, you know, my adopted child wouldn’t be NEARLY as important as the biological one. Ultimately pregnancy is everything, isn’t it?

    Those comments are rude. And ignorant. And they make me very very angry.

    Good for you for keeping your cool. I am not sure I would have.

  9. Thalia Says:

    Appalling, just appalling.

    Btw I can’t see why having a very weak xray of your mouth would have any impact on a pregnancy…

  10. Baby Blues Says:

    Annoying! She should have just kept her comments to herself. I’m proud of you for being such a good patient. You were definitly very “patient”.

  11. soralis Says:

    Don’t you just love the stories? I am sure for every 1 of them there is 50 or more of the other side.

    I am with the others you should have bit her!! 🙂

    Take care and good luck

  12. Shop Girl Says:

    Oye, I can just imagine how uncomfortable, maddening, and frustrating that conversation must have been! For what it’s worth, your post made me chuckle…

  13. GLouise Says:

    That is appalling! I hate to go to the dentist as it is, without being subjected to those kinds of questions while strapped into a chair!

    I wish you would have bitten her, too. (Would it have been too cruel to bite her ‘accidentally’ and then tell her you have some type of communicable disease?! Oops!)

  14. Starfish Says:

    *shaking head* The stupidity of people never ceases to amaze me.

  15. Millie Says:

    I hate the dentist because every six months it’s the same old thing.

    Yay for no cavities!!

    Maybe I should get an import license. Think that would help?

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